Never Give Bakura A Dictionary
by yamiyugi23
Summary: Table 5 of the word challenge. What happens when Bakura decides that their are some words in the dictionary that's wrong? Why Bakura fixes them of course! And now his showing it to his lover! What the hell could Bakura do with a dictionary? YAOI! B/R


**Table 5 – Never give Bakura a dictionary**

**WARNING! YAOI, SWEARING AND EVERYTHING! THIS IS BAKURA'S DICTIONARY AFTER ALL!**

**And thank you to ****DementedWitch for beta'ing this for me!**

"Bakura what are you doing?" Ryou asked nervously as he watched his Yami close a big book shut with a grin that said 'I've just done something that you should be worried about'.

"Why my love I was looking through the dictionary and found some of the information in there wrong," Bakura said with a proud smile as he pulled Ryou onto his lap "Have a look."

Ryou couldn't help but look at his Yami's 'Dictionary', it had kept Bakura quiet and out of trouble for a few hours and he was so proud of it. Sitting in Bakura's lap Ryou began to read:

**Apple**

Recommend being in form of either shampoo to get the mood going or lube, apple always tastes best in my Hikari!

**Ash**

Ash will be what's left of the Pharaoh once I've burnt the bloody sod alive.

**Bench**

A nice relaxing place to both walk along the seashore and have hot wild sex with cute and adorable Hikari.

**Bird**

To be killed when the damn bird wakes you up in the morning at a God-damn ridicules time.

**Blank**

A blank is to be filled by having even more hot and wild sex with Hikria.

**Bound**

Bound Hikari is a lovely dish, no matter how it is severed. But remember to be careful when you bound Hikari as you don't want to cause too much pain which will result in getting no sex for a year and having to sleep on the sofa.

**Break**

This Yami will break that damn Pharaoh in half and feed him to the shadow realm where he will be tortured forever.

**Burning**

Burning is bad, burning down the kitchen is what happened when this Yami tried to cook something nice for his Hikari.

Note: It is better to order take-out then cook.

**Cauldron**

A cauldron is useful to have when thinking up chaos and panic, can also be used to cook stupid Pharaoh's in.

**Chance**

Chance is a wonderful thing; chance is that you'll come across your Hikari's favourite food as you play 'let's eat the Hikari'.

**Colour**

Colour is annoying but needed, colour is useful in the bedroom when picking out what flavour condom you want to use but sometimes the colour of the condom isn't always the flavour of the condom.

**Coming-of-age**

Now the coming-of-age night is a thing of pure beauty! Mine and my Hikria was so sore we couldn't walk for a month!

**Concrete**

Concrete has two meanings, the concrete you walk on and when you push a certain annoying Pharaoh over you know he'll break his royal nose or the kind of concrete that you know that this is real and you've just broken the royal nose.

**Contrast**

I don't know what 'contrast' means! Go and look it up in a dictionary! Oh wait this is a dictionary…the difference between myself and the idiotic pharaoh, which is a big one and one that I'm thankful for.

**Coping**

See the copy cat card in the Duel Monsters Game. If you can't find one then you could always pinch one out of the flying horse guy's deck.

**Crab**

Crab is a sea food that if not cooked right can be used to give people like the pharaoh food poisoning.

**Darkness**

ME! I'm a Yami and I'm darkness! I'm an excellent example of darkness!

**Enter**

Enter, just a wonderful word! An example of this fine word is to enter my dear Hikari from every angle we can manage and as many times we can manage!

**Enthusiastic**

I'm sure as hell enthusiastic about having hot wild sex with my Hikari as if we where bunnies in heat! Another thing I'm enthusiastic about is when I've been kicked onto the sofa I take it out by trying to kill the pharaoh.

**Excitement**

Excitement of coming home and finding a sugar high Hikria ready to have a 48 hour sex marathon with me.

**Existence**

The mere existence of the pharaoh is enough to make any bad guy want to through themselves off a cliff.

**Fall**

I fall onto the bed as my sweet Hikari decides that it's his turn to be the dom, these nights I find myself wishing we could swap places as I find sometimes it's hard to keep the pace up because of all the _pleasurable things_ my Hikari is doing to my body.

**Fireplace**

A fireplace once light is where I'm going to throw the millennium puzzle, once the pharaoh's spirit is dead I'll use the puzzle for whatever I want without having to listen to any winey pharaohs.

**Frame**

Frame is what you do when you take a picture, a nice picture to take is that of your Hikari on the bed enjoying the after effects of the just had sex.

**Hear**

To make sure that a certain Pharaoh can hear all the moans and screams of pleasure coming from your room and to make sure he can't have a good night sleep as he can only hear your screams and moans and nothing else can go through his brain.

**Interruption**

Interruption, I WILL kill anyone who dare does this while myself and my Hikria is 'relaxing from a day of hard work'.

**Journey**

This Yami is willing to go on any journey if it means I get to kill the pharaoh as many times as I want to or I get to have hot monkey sex with my Hikari.

**Justice**

Justice will be done for the bad guys too! Who says that us bad guys don't want justice? It's not our fault that stuff happens! Blame the writers!

**Letter**

A letter is a very good way of begging your Hikari for forgiveness when said Hikari has locked you out of the bedroom and won't listen to you. A Letter can also be a good way to get 'I forgive you' sex.

**Meat**

Meat is best served raw and bloody allowing the eater to imagine that the meat is that of a pharaoh's body.

**Misread**

To misread something can be a blessing, this Yami misread the label of what he thought was shampoo only to find it was lube that you could use in the shower.

**Miss**

Very simple this one, NEVER call my Hikari Miss. Bakura, he is a male and is known to get downright scary when he gets called a 'Miss'.

**Nose**

Nose, in my opinion a certain pharaoh's nose is small enough to be that of a mouse with a cold nose.

**Pain**

You've got to love the pain and suffering you can get from killing the friendship squad (all but my Hikari Anyone who wants to cause any type of pain to my Hikari will have to answer to ME!) But sadly my Hikari has told me I'm not allowed to kill them! His even threaten me with no sex for the rest of my after life!

**Pursue**

I pursue the Pharaoh to his home, and then I……STEAL ALL OF HIS SUGAR AND HIS MILLENUM ITEMS!

**Recollection**

Recollection is nice and all, I mean remembering the good old day is a great way to think up new ways to kill people and to find new ways of having sex with my Hikari but there's the future to think off! I mean just imagine all that time in the future that this Yami and his Hikari have for wild and passionate sex!

**Scope**

Scope? What the hell is a scope? Is it about the range of different ways you and your Hikari can have sex or the huge scope of how you can kill the pharaoh?

**Shade**

Shade is nice; shade is where Yami and Hikari meet!

**Sheet**

Sheets go on the bed! Or they do when we sleep but in our house the sheets on me and my Hikari's bed normally gets ripped up during our pleasurable and wild trips down south!

**Shellfish**

Shellfish are VERY useful! Here in Japan we eat them but the shells of the shellfish can also be used for destroying a certain pharaoh's manhood!

**Sign**

A sign from your Hikari is very important, it can tell you what to do in the bed, out and about in public, when NOT to kill anyone, when to do something, if you should do something. Oh! And a sign is used to tell people how to drive but I don't need them as I get lots of pieces of paper telling me well done about my driving through the post!

**Sofa**

A sofa is a great spot to snuggle with your Hikari on stormy days while you eat sugar and watch a movie, especially if it's a horror movie causing your Hikari to cling to you.

**Spike**

I hate spike! I hate spike or spike's because they remind me to much of them damn Pharaoh's stupid hair! I'm so tempted to cut the spike(s) off of that damn head along with the Pharaoh's head!

**Spot**

Spot, now that is an annoying word. You can have a spot next to your Hikari only to find that it's been taken and you have to sit next to the pig headed Pharaoh. Spot can also be a good word as you might have chicken spots and your Hikari have to rub ointment all over you.

**Sunrise**

Watching the sunrise with your Hikari at the beach is one of life's greatest pleasures, it's one of the few things I enjoy that does NOT involve having sex with my cute Hikari! Just a romantic am I.

**Temporary**

I love the word 'Temporary'. It's a lovely word meaning that your Hikari won't always be gone or your on the sofa forever. Though temporary is also evil as the amount of time you can spend in the bath with your Hikari is 'temporary' before the water gets too cold.

**Tendency**

I do have Tendency to live, breath and eat my Hikari but who can complain when their Hikari has such a cute body as mine? No one! Because my Hikari is MINE!

**Vase**

Vase, what a wonderful weapon it makes for hitting people over the head with.

**Wait**

Having to wait is evil! I mean waiting for that moment that you can pounce your Hikari and pound him like no tomorrow or having to wait until you can kill the spiky headed Pharaoh. I hate having to wait!

**Wind**

Wind, a very smelly word but can be put to good us by knocking out your enemies.

Ryou closed the dictionary shut with a red face.

"So what do you think?" Bakura asked as he rubbed his nose up and down Ryou's neck "Does my little kitten like the dictionary?"

Poor Ryou didn't know what to say, the puppy dog eyes that Bakura was giving him made him say one thing:

"Remind me to never give you a dictionary."

**THE END! **

**I've done it! I've completed all but tables 2 and 3 now! I hope that you liked this fic! Can't wait to see what you think of it!**


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